The importance of emotional intelligence in the workplace is quickly gaining recognition and reputation.  Emotionally intelligent people are much more likely to succeed, and successful people, naturally, are who companies want to hire.

In fact, studies over the past decade pinpoint emotional intelligence as possibly the single most important factor contributing to success on the job.  Highly emotionally intelligent people are more likely to be stellar performers, regardless of the industry they’re in.

A Feeling

Your emotions are more than feelings.

Researchers agree there are different kinds of emotions/feelings.  There are emotions, which are more biologically oriented, and then there are complex emotions that are saturated with thoughts and cognition.  A basic emotion would be simple sadness, whereas a more cognitively saturated emotion would be something like guilt, where you learned something in order to feel the guilt.

Emotion has several components to it.  It also includes a feeling which is the response part of emotion.  Emotion is an “umbrella term” which includes the situation, you interpretation of the situation and the response or feeling related to the interpretation of the situation.

Emotional Flow vs. Emotional Hijacking

All of us have been in flow at some point in our lives.  Flow is that place where you are energized, focused, positive and absorbed in an activity in a seemingly effortless and fluid way.  Typically we are in a state of flow when we are using our natural talents, preferences and meeting our interpersonal needs. We feel refreshed and content.

Then there is the other side, when we are hijacked. The amygdale is the brain’s emotional memory center.  Fresh hurts, injustices or recent feelings are sitting right at the surface of that part of the brain’s “memory center”, you react, over react.  Past hurts or insults are projected into the present.  You experience worry, anxiety, panic, frustration, anger…  Your impulse overrides rational thoughts.

It takes practice and awareness to acknowledge that you control the situation and can retrain your brain.  All those positive self help books and classes that are so popular right now?  It’s emotional intelligence training, it’s just not being called that.

You control which emotions affect your life the most.  You need to ensure you are controlling your reaction and the outcome is what you want.  If you are someone who experiences hijacking frequently it will cost you…  And your company…

Emotionally Intelligent Managers

Employee turnover is costly to a business in several departments.  You have to spend to advertise for the new job, take time to review applications and interview several applicants, you might spend time doing second interviews with a panel of interviewers, and then once hired, time is spent filing new-hire paperwork and training them in their new position.  The importance of emotional intelligence just got a little clearer, didn’t it?

Highly emotionally intelligent managers have far less turnover than managers with lower EQ.  These managers are good at interpersonal relationships and create an environment employees like to stay in.  They’ll often even stay in a lower paying job with a great manager.  When people leave jobs, often it is a bad manager they’re leaving, not the job itself.

Managers high on the EQ scale are also good at dealing with difficult employees.  If you’re high in EQ, you see the human perspective behind your employee’s behavior.  You’re able to put your emotions aside and not take the situation personally.  You’re able to deal with the other person as a person.  You know how to use humor, even self-deprecating humor, to diffuse a tense situation.

Getting the Job through Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence isn’t something you want to note on your resume, but you do want to show it in the interview.

You have your shiny new MBA and you’re interviewing for a job with 100 other MBAs.  How do you stand out?

When the interviewers ask you questions about resolving conflict in the workplace or how much experience you have in dealing with difficult employees, this is where your responses reflect your emotional intelligence – even if the interviewers don’t yet know what EQ is or how it will benefit them.

Keeping the Job through Emotional Intelligence

Even if you’ve identified yourself as a little low on the emotional intelligence scale, that’s good! Now you can learn more about it and how to improve it. You can go to your manager and explain to them what you’re learning and enlist their feedback as you change and grow.

The foresight you display in identifying your weakness and demonstrating a desire to overcome it is a huge step towards becoming more valuable to your employer.